🏕️ The Chill Survivalist’s Guide

Not a Prepper, Just a Practical Camper

Preparedness without the panic

Hey you—

We’re not here to preach about stockpiling for the end of the world. This isn’t that kind of story.

This is about the time we hiked eight miles into the backcountry, only to realize our one and only pack of matches had been soaking in a leaky water bottle since mile two. It’s about the morning we tried to make coffee using a metal cup, damp firewood, and an increasingly creative string of curse words. It’s about the kid who wouldn’t stop asking for pizza at the campsite—and how we somehow pulled it off.

What we’re trying to say is: we’ve learned the hard way. And we’d rather you didn’t have to.

We’re not preppers. We’re just practical campers who’ve had enough soggy gear, grumbly bellies, and flashlight fumbles to know a few things about what actually matters when you’re out there.

Let’s rewind for a second.

First lesson: always carry waterproof matches. We used to laugh at them. Thought they were a gimmick. Until we found ourselves on the wrong side of a thunderstorm, soaked to the bone, with no way to start a fire. Cold hands, cold food, cold spirits. We ended up huddled in the tent, passing around a half-frozen protein bar and playing the “whose idea was this?” blame game. The next trip? You better believe those matches came with us—bone dry and ready to strike.

Now let’s talk snacks. Ever hiked just a bit farther than planned, only to realize lunch never made it into your pack? We have. More than once. And every time, we were rescued by those humble, indestructible ration bars. Not fancy. Not Instagrammable. But dense, dependable, and surprisingly satisfying. They’ve powered us through surprise climbs, trail delays, and one brutal case of trailhead hangriness. We now keep a stash in every glove box and gear bin we own.

But nothing beats the legend of The Camp Pizza.

We brought our kid along for their first real weekend in the wild. The weather turned. The mood soured. Spirits hit rock bottom right around the time someone asked, “What’s for dinner?” And out came the wild card—our Biomass Oven. We flattened out some dough, slapped on sauce and cheese, and BAM. Was it gourmet? Not even close. But it was hot, cheesy, and came with a side of “Whoa, we can make pizza out here?!” That one meal turned the whole trip around.

Then there are the tools—the quiet heroes that don’t get flashy photos but earn their keep every single time. Our multi-tool has clipped tangled line, opened stubborn cans, fixed a busted boot buckle mid-hike, and once even cut a fishing net off a dog’s paw. That thing’s worth its weight in jerky.

Emergency blankets? They’ve been ground cloths, wind blockers, makeshift ponchos, and literal lifesavers on freezing mornings when the tent didn’t cut it. We’ve wrapped ourselves in them to watch sunrises and passed them around when someone underestimated the mountain chill.

And headlamps. Dear lord, don’t forget the batteries. We’ve learned that one the hard way too—navigating a rocky trail back to camp with one light between three people and a lot of “Wait, was that a raccoon?” Since then, our headlamps are always in the top pouch. Fresh batteries included.

It’s funny. People think being prepared means being scared. But for us? It means not having to turn back. It means getting to laugh around the fire instead of stressing in the dark. It means being the one who did pack the tool that saved dinner, fixed the gear, or helped a buddy stay warm.

Here’s what we pack now—every time:

🟢 Waterproof Matches

🟢 Emergency Blanket

🟢 Ration Bars

🟢 Multi-Tool (the real MVP)

🟢 Headlamp (with backup batteries, because yes, again, we’ve been there)

🟢 First Aid Kit

🟢 Aquamira Straw (because creek water doesn’t come with a label)

🟢 And if we’ve got kids tagging along? Portable oven = campsite peace treaty

We’re not saying gear makes the trip. But the right gear? It saves the trip. Over and over again.

So if you’ve ever:

• Camped in the rain without a dry match
• Tried to sleep through cold wind in a thin hoodie
• Fought a hangry mood with a half-melted granola bar
• Used duct tape in three different “emergencies” in one afternoon...

You’re not alone. We’ve been there, too. That’s why we pack smart—not because we’re prepping for some global meltdown, but because we want to make the most of every adventure. Rain or shine. Burnt or golden-brown marshmallows. Pizza or no pizza (but c’mon, try the pizza).

If you’ve got your own muddy, misty, ration-bar-saved-me kind of story, we’d love to hear it. Let’s swap tales. Because out here, we’re all just one misadventure away from figuring it out.

So here’s to camp pizza, dry socks and well lit calls of nature,

The Camping Survival Crew

Survival of the chillest.